Friday, June 03, 2011
Yin is receptive
It has been established that yang is consciousness, yin is subconsciousness. It could also be said, yang is intellect, yin is emotion. As such they have different viewpoints about the role of emotion. Yin is comfortable with emotion, yang not so much so. Therefore men see emotional expression as weakness, women see it as strength. As always, neither side is right or wrong over all but only in context. One time I had started dating a woman, and there came a point where I became a little upset about something. Her response? "Now was that so hard to express?" What?! What kind of answer was that? Do you really think I am afraid to show my emotions? Of course not. But for some reason it came across that way. If I hadn't shown emotion before that time it was because I felt no need to, not because I was afraid to. To me it was just silly, ridiculous even. And it put me in a position where there was nothing I could say or do to alleviate the situation. Her view of reality was totally different than mine. Her view of reality was different than mine and there was no way to correlate the two views. Think, ladies, about how that would come across to a man. He gets upset about something and this response in effect is saying to the man, "what you just got upset about means nothing to me. Who cares how you feel?" It was the ultimate insult. But not in her mind. I remember a story line in the sitcom "All in the Family" a few years ago, where Archie's doctor told him that he had to start being nicer to control his blood pressure. And every time Edith did something he didn't like he would start to yell, but squelch it and say, "That's all right Edith." And her response? She went crying to Gloria saying, "Archie doesn't love me anymore. He doesn't care if the dinner is late, etc., etc., etc." Do you see what kind of problems these scenarios can create in relationships when we don't even understand each other? What one sex considers irrational anger the other calls love. Was Archie's way right? Was Edith's way right? She saw only the good in everyone. Is that good? Is it naive? Each of these questions can be answered in both ways, all depending on the context and the perceptive of the one perceiving the situation. I once knew a woman who had been married to a four star general. She divorced him because he was in her mind unwilling to show her emotions. She felt that he must be holding it in and someday he would explode. Can you imagine a four star general afraid of showing his emotions? Of course not. If a soldier disobeys his orders he wouldn't hesitate to say how he feels about it. It has to be in the right context. If a commanding officer were constantly showing his emotions, the men would lose respect for him, and would not feel comfortable going into battle with him because they would see him as weak. But here is the crux of the situation, men feel that uncontrolled emotional display is a weakness. Women consider it a strength. Is it any wonder we don't understand each other?