Feeling Isolated

There comes times in most people's lives when for one reason or another we feel isolated. This might happen for a while after we move to a new location but sometimes things change and old friends are gone and new friends seem scarce. Isolation can be a very hard garden to hoe. Sometimes we may be isolated because people have perceived us in a bad light, or misunderstood us in some way. it is incumbent upon all of us to try our best to see the best in everyone around us. Some people can be hard to deal with, but it will help if we see the good side of them.

The commentary on hexagram eight tells us that if we come to a group too late we might find the doors closed. The people in the group already know each other and feel comfortable with each other and new comers understandably can not be accorded the same luxury. We just don't know the new person.

Hexagrams thirty eight and forty five can also give us hints about how to deal with the feeling of isolation. The commentary on line two of hexagram thirty eight says, "As a result of misunderstandings, it has become impossible for people who by nature belong together to meet in the correct way." The key here is that the people by nature belong to each other's social group. The commentary goes on to say that perhaps a chance meeting will resolve the difficulty. The key is that if they belong together, they will meet, and the problem will be resolved, even though seemingly by accident. Hexagram forty five line two's commentary says, "There are secret forces at work, bringing together those who belong together." I hope that people do not take this lightly. There really are secret forces at work in the universe. There is a "universal subconscious mind," possibly called God, that draws together those who belong together. This is because our lives have a destiny and a plan. Things do not happen by accident. There are no coincidences. There is a divine plan. We see this as well in hexagram sixty one which I have brought up over and over again. If we understand that our lives are guided. If we understand that there is a secret plan, and that we need not strive to attain it, we greatly increase our peace of mind and can relax to a much greater extent. Then life becomes more cheerful and less fearful. We can "let go and let God..."

Hexagram thirty eight line four also has a few words to say of this. "Isolated through opposition, one meets a like minded man, with whom one can associate in good faith." As long as we stand in "good faith" with our fellow man, our destined meetings, whether accidental or not, will be accomplished. Once again, knowing this, there is no need for fear or anxiety as it is all planned out for us. The person we meet is a "like-minded man. In other words, the accidental meeting brings us to someone with whom we have an inner affinity. Hexagram forty five line three carries on this theme with a little bit of a twist. The line says, "Gathering together amid sighs. Our search for friendship, for business relationships, or for meaningful relationships seems fruitless. What to do? Once again we have to let go and just go with the flow. We like someone but they don't like us. We fret,and feel bad about ourselves, but we don't have to, because "there are secret forces at work." Therefore we can just relax. The commentary says that when we are locked out of a group that one possible opportunity to break in is by aligning ourselves with the center of the group. In order to do that it is often important to have a skill that the group needs, or make ourselves useful in some way. Throwing ourselves away in an undignified manner will not work. Neither will throwing ourselves at some one in a subservient manner. They key is to be valuable in some way.

But there is another idea implicit here that can also help us. We ourselves have a group of personalities within us that often fight each other and get in each other's way. We are not an integrated individual, but different parts of us battle each other. In that case we much reach our center. We must reach that deepest part of us that knows and that can unite the opposing forces. Only then can we integrate ourselves within our being. In the same way, only when we can integrate ourselves within our society, and become a fully functioning part of the unit do we really find success in our friendships, business relations and personal relations.