Where to Go Next

I've missed a few days in posting here as I try to think of where to go next. I am very interested in continuing to go in the relationship direction, but the material I give out must be given out through a very accurate understanding of what the I Ching is really saying about it, and realizing that I am not an expert in relationships. I do however, know people that I think are. They are not I Ching experts, so I have to listen to both. And I am going to be very upfront about where I go to hear the experts talk about relationships. It's not what you might think, in terms of some psychologist or counselor who has school learning, but at the same time their relationships fail as fast as those of the people they counsel. I would rather go to those with real world experience, and as such I learn things about the difference between the way women think and men think in social context. I get emails from two sources, the first is the one I like the best, as his material relates more to "long term" relationships, not overnight situations. Well, I won't even mention the second one, nothing against him, but the first is the one I like to listen to. His name is Michael Marks. He is not a so called spiritually evolved person in the sense that he reads sacred books or anything, but in a way he does have a certain maturity I think is very spiritual. I listen to him not so much so I can win women's hearts as it is just interesting to me to know as much about life as i can and understand the way life is. So much relates not only to relationships, but as well to how we relate to our inner self. And as much as I can put out here, I still have much to learn.

I would recommend that women as well look up Michael Marks and listen to what he is saying to men. Maybe even read his emails and give a little feedback to him. Some do. Part of the problem in communications between men and women is that our life experiences turns out to be very different once we become interested in the opposite sex. Each has very different experiences, experiences (and not always, in every case with everyone, just as a general rule) in attempting to meet the opposite sex due to the different orientation we have toward relationships and such matters. Why would I say that? Well, let me preamble with this. Both men and women get rejected. Both sexes feel rejected quite often. But the difference is this. Men, being naturally aggressive, and knowing they have to interact with lots of women to find one that will stay with them, create an atmosphere in which a woman can feel like a "hunted" species. She goes out and eyes are on her everywhere. Then it seems that men start tripping all over themselves to get to know her, and that it isn't just her, but the opportunity she presents to them. She is not so concerned about finding a man, but the right man. She meets men that are giving her compliments, trying to make conversation with her, doing what they can to the extent that they come across as desperate. And since the man doesn't know how he is coming across, he feels rejected, and as time goes on, he gets more and more desperate. And it shows. And that is a major turn off to women. So some man comes along, acts like a jerk, doesn't care in the least and she is attracted. At first glance, this might seem odd, but it is not when you consider that women are being approached all the time, just about everywhere, and men are trying harder and harder, trying new pick up lines, doing what ever they can to make themselves more appealing, and finding just the opposite effect.

It is not that jerks get along better with women. It is that while they may not care, they come across as more sure of themselves, and do not "throw themselves" at the woman. They leave a women with the feeling that he is not needy or desperate, which most guys are both, because they don't know how to approach women.

Let me tell you men, to play a game to act non needy does not usually work. It has to be real. The problem is, how can you be that way when all the time you see women back away from you? If there are any games to be played, it is to be played with yourself until you can convince your subconscious mind that there is really not a problem. When you feel worthy deep down inside, below the level of awareness, you start to act like it. Some may call you a jerk, but women see things we don't see about ourselves. They are excellent at feedback so we can come to see ourselves more as we truly are. In truth, both sexes can learn from each other. We are mirrors to each other. In fact we are all mirrors to each other male or female in all aspects of life. When we have trouble with people we are getting a mirror feedback image of ourselves. Most people never realize it though, and male or female, go through life with a form of "quiet desperation."

The interesting thing about hexagram thirty eight is it tells us ways to overcome isolation or opposition, or polarity. But it can only become overcome when things have not gotten to the point where there is no hope of reconciliation. Let us hope things never go that far. Let us be sure we can understand when they have and when they have not. The hexagram, though speaking of a negative situation, offers hope because through understanding, we can slowly but surely change the situation from negative to positive. The hexagram speaks of overcoming misunderstandings.

More on this later