Not a Robber

When men and women first come into contact there is normally a certain standoffishness because we do not know what the other person is like. There are other reasons too, such as there is no context for any type of social involvement, or no need for social involvement. However, assuming that is not the case there is still the issue of trust. The sixth line of hexagram thirty eight says, "One sees one's companion as a pig covered with dirt, As a wagon full of devils. First one draws a bow against him, Then one lays the bow aside. He is not a robber; he will woo at the right time. As one goes, rain falls; the good fortune comes." Our natural tendency is distrust. We cannot simply approach unless a certain protocol is in place. If we do we will be greeted with suspicion and mistrust. Therefore, it is necessary for the man especially to be very cautious in first approach, and make sure there is absolutely no pressure placed on the woman to respond in any particular way. This is not naturally, generally for men, unless they are well versed in social interaction at that level. There must always be a gradual process (hexagram fifty three) of interaction based on the gradual development of trust. The man, (or woman) may be truly sincere, but it takes time to allow the other person to recognize that. As time goes on we begin to judge a person as they really are, and possibly rid ourselves of the mistaken image of the other person, and realize their intentions are good. To allow this process to happen, we must wait for the "right time" to woo. When we act accordingly, and reserve ourselves and maintain personally integrity and dignity in the mean time, we gradually "bite through the wrappings," as mentioned in line five. It is only when we have "bitten through the wrappings that we can approach with sincerity in our hearts. We cannot do it until the time has come when the "weapons have been lain down." Then, even though we are isolated, we then come to meet a "like minded person" (line four) with whom we can associate. And, "though the beginning was not good," (line three) all ends well. It is like "meeting our Lord in a narrow street." In other words, we find someone in an unlikely place, it appears as if by magic, and we realize we have found the one that is right for us. As hexagram forty five line two says, "there are secret forces at work, bringing those together who belong together." We must trust this universal principle, yet almost no one does. So we meet the wrong people, we get involved where we should not. It would have been better to leave the arrows out of the quiver, but we try to do everything with the limited resources of the conscious mind, without just trusting. We are like those in hexagram forty five line five, who "are not yet sincerely in the work." We give no credence to the deeper levels of mind, and try consciously to force every issue, which often turns against us. Not being in the work means we are not trusting the deeper self, the Sage, The sacred teachings. We leave half of ourselves out of the equation, but when we have "sublime enduring perseverance, (also hexagram forty five line five) Then remorse disappears. When we allow our higher self to take over, not only do we "make even our enemies to be at peace with us," we find that "we cannot lose that which truly belongs to us." (hexagram twenty five line four) four it is brought to us by "those secret forces bringing those together who belong together."