Thursday, October 20, 2011


There are times in our lives where, no matter how deeply we understand our spiritual live and nature, no matter how attuned to the tao we are, we make mistakes in dealing with other people. If those people are important to us then we can only hope that the mistake was not so bad as to preclude any further mutual response. Sometimes that is the case and a person must just walk away. Other times the mistake may be rectified, but only by giving the other person lots of time, and paying particular attention to the passages of the I Ching that speak of waiting for the right time, and making little efforts continuously that eventually add up to something big. When relationships are just beginning we often become entangled in our folly (hexagram four line) and the teacher, our higher selves can do nothing but allow us to go through the opprobrium that the situation entails. After all, experience is the ultimate teacher. We have violated the rules of hexagram fifty three which teaches us that progress in any relationship that is of value progresses very slowly as the partners get used to each other, and come to know whether they truly belong together or not.

Hexagram fifty nine speaks of situations in which it is imperative that we dissolve or disperse obstructions that keep us from other people.
The commentary on line two says that "When an individual discovers within himself the beginnings of alienation from others, of misanthropy and ill humor, he must set about dissolving these obstructions." The commentary on the third line says, "He must set aside all personal desires and disperse whatever the self gathers about it to serve as a barrier against others." But sometimes the only thing that can be done is to give time. We cannot force our way into someone's heart lest we drive them even further away. As such it says in line one of hexagram thirty eight, "If you lose your horse, do not run after it, it will come back of its own accord." If we have acted precipitously and have created a barrier between ourselves and others it is often the case that the only recourse is to leave the situation alone at least for the time being. Hexagram twenty five line four says, "We cannot lose that which truly belong to us, even if we throw it away." If the horse comes back, we know it is truly our own horse. If it does not, it never was. Sometimes by pressuring someone else for a relationship, or to take the relationship to the next level, we push them away, and the only thing to do is to relieve the pressure.

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