Involuntary Attraction

We think we make conscious decisions on who we re attracted to and why. But do we? The commentary in book three on hexagram thirty one says, "...hence it represents an influence that is unconscious and involuntary, not one that is conscious and willed. Relationships that are conscious and willed are more likely to be based on baser desires, not true spiritual love. The commentary in book three for line four says, "Thereby it limits its influence, everything is shifted to the conscious plane, and the inner light darkens. As soon as we use manipulation, as soon as we use force, as soon as we contemplate, we lose the inner light. We know longer have the feeling for who we really should be involved with. We know longer allow that inner "secret force" to operate. We operate in darkness, not in light. The conscious mind, the ego, thinks it knows all. It thinks it can manipulate and control everything to its advantage, but it ultimately fails because it does not have that "inner light."

It is not easy to let go of conscious manipulation. It is difficult to understand, even more so to maintain that "inner light." What is it? When we allow the "secret forces" to work, then things come out as they should. The commentary on the decision says, "The holy man stimulates the hearts of men, and the world attains peace and rest." It is to be understood that the holy man has no conscious intention of creating effects within the common man that would be beneficial strictly to the holy man. We affects others, and stimulates them because of the nature of his being, and exudes an energy that others can at least unconsciously recognize as of a superior quality. Thus they naturally want to be like him. In such a case the superior man creates an effect not even known to himself necessarily that creates peace on earth. It creates peace on earth because he has already created peace within himself.

In our relationships it is necessary to that we create peace within ourselves,for that peace will also affect our partner, who in turn will feel more peace. This is the real confidence that should be attractive to women. All too often, we are attracted to a superficial kind of confidence that really amounts more to arrogance, and is surface only. When we are the right person, we are attracted to and attract the right person. When we are not, we don't. Everything depends on letting go and trusting. Everything depends on letting that "inner light" shine in our lives. Everything depends on following the natural way. The more we can follow the natural way, the more our lives are enhanced and we live in harmony with the universe.